I feel so sick :( I just wanna curl into a ball and cry. I guess this is what food poisoning feels like.. like death in your stomach.. Something that did make me feel somewhat better was seeing my love over skype and talking for five minutes before skype hung up for me :. Those five minutes that I sort of complained of how sick I felt didn’t exactly make me feel better but just knowing he was on camera, watching me and hearing me complain did. Seeing his face made me feel better even when I’m not.
Stupid Buffalo wild wings did me dirty :( I only ate 4 wings and got sick from them but while I was there, I had such a good time watching the Heat game. I told bby that I would change my team for him since he thinks that he has the power to say “oh btw you’re a Heat fan now since you’re my girl”… I had such a good time watching them today and in the mist of it all, I received a unexpected video sent to my phone from him.. he told me he missed me, wished me a good day/night and said our heat won <3 Sure enough, it was a little thing that he did but little does he know, it meant alot to me because he took the time to do some cute corny stuff lol but I love corny. Hope he knows that when he takes the time to do little things for me like send me things, listen to me.. makes my heart melt.. as corny as that is. I appreciate every bit of it.
Tyga feat. Lil Wayne - Faded
Artist: Cash Out
Song: Cashin Out
Album: Cashin Out
2 Chainz ft. Drake | No Lie | Prod by @MikeWillMadeIt
I’m sad.
I messed up for real and I’m a complete idiot. He said he feels at unease with me and feels like I still have feelings for my ex boyfriend. I’m over him and it’s in the past. I just want him to know that everything I said to him and all of our conversations we’ve talked, I meant every word.
I made a mistake.. my last post, I wrote that I was getting close to someone and said I wasn’t looking for a relationship for the benefit of everyone I knew who went through my tumblr and read what I was saying. I think I’m done trying to please people and I don’t care who knows.
I’m talking to someone. Although he lives really far, he means alot to me. I wanna take my time to get to know him inside and out and he’s the only guy that I wanna time my time on and will. I put so much effort to show him how much I care for him and just like that, two steps forward, two steps back. To be honest, I’m scared he’ll hurt me just like everyone else because he’s too good to be true but as I thought everything through, I do trust him. Every day, he’s the only guy I look forward to waking up talking to and going to bed talking to. He’s the guy that makes me smile and makes me laugh. He’s the guy that tells me off when I’m wrong and most importantly, he’s the ONLY guy that’s in my life right now.
I’m sorry, I know you saw what I wrote but this is actually how I really feel and now, I don’t care who sees or what anyone says.
While I’m away in TN, I’m seriously enjoying myself. It feels so good to not be back at home and to worry about work or arguing with my mom every five seconds.. I’m enjoying my vacation with my sisters. I thought that being away with them would only cause arguments and irritation but I guess we’ve reached that point where we just get over each other’s attitudes and just leave each other alone. On other news, my great gramma is doing great. It made me really sad to see her because I knew she was in slight pain but knowing her, she’ll get through it but she’s going through chemo and at the age of 89, is getting through it and luckily, her tumor went down much more than it used to be. So thankful for my friends and family who had my family and I in their prayers because without them, I don’t think it would of been as easy to get through this. Hopefully, things will stay this way for now, but as the saying goes.. all good things come to an end and I’m sure whenever that is, we’ll be okay and life will go on. Thanking god as each day passes by, I’ve never been so thankful to have such great people in my life to check up on me and to always put a smile on my face.
I finally steered myself away from my ex boyfriend and I’m okay with it. Something just made me go, it’s time to move on. Reasons which of course is personal. After talking about it over and over, I just got sick of it because I know that trying to make someone see who you are and putting that extra effort when they’re not gives you no type of satisfaction. To be honest, this was one of the hardest relationships to get over because in reality, no one expected this to end. I worked so hard to prove myself to him and you know what, it fell apart for reasons that no one will ever understand and that’s okay. I learned that there’s other people in the world to put more effort to make you happy as much as you would like to make them happy. With that said, I’ve been kinda getting close to someone but I don’t want it to be known that it’s like that.. I’m not ready for a new relationship and I’m just kinda testing the waters to see what is really out in the world. I’m just looking for a friend to talk to. Someone who knows of my past and what I’ve gone through and why I’m like the way I am today. It’s just nice to have someone who cares about you and checks up on you everyday. I think everyone needs one of those. A little reassurance is not so bad every so often anyway :)
I pray that my grandmother gets well. Everything is just wrong timing and inconvenient at its most right now. I just found out that my great grandmother was diagnosed with cancer, Lymphoma. She went into surgery yesterday and didn’t even get to go through the surgery. The doctors wouldn’t remove the tumor and gave her a biopsy instead and says that she can’t get treatment because of her old age. I never thought my grandmother would get this sick but you know, she still acts the same way and she’s constantly happy.
Last month, my older cousin was really sick in the hospital. Doctors thought that it could of been Lymphoma and out of no where, she got better. Now, since my family is really spiritual and religious.. we believe that my grandmother asked for my cousin to get better and that she took the Lymphoma for herself. I think deep down inside, she knew she was sick and was breaking down. She has so much family and everyone cares for her so I think that she’s taking this time to say bye to everyone instead of just leaving us. There’s so much reasoning and I just don’t understand why there’s always something that goes wrong.
I pray that my family and I will get through this tough time together. I thank everyone who has been there for me so far and will always be there for me.
My life: Work, Training, A problem with my car, Family, Work.
this happens to be my current schedule lol alllll the time.
